At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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