dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
