I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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