what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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