just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
