Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
