To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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