Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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