I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
