So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
