i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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