Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
