Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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