do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
