Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
