OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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