Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
