You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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