Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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