Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
This is not my ceiling
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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