worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
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