I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
