So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
