He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
