You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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