dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
