Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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