Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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