I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
