Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
