when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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