My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
