this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
