I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
