so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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