i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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