You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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