I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
