your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I love you. Go after that dick
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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