Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
