How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
