So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
