theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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