By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
