Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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