you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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