she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
