i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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