When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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