It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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